Come see our sink grown plant.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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