I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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