I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
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dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
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Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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