My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
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