you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
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