Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Alive.
So much puke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
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