I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
