Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
