Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
