I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Houston, we have a blender
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
