just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
