i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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