this just has baby written all over it
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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