She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
