Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
You left your phone here
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