just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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