My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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