i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize