Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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