are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
