It's Friday. Sex?
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
