Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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