Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
