Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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