You can't motorboat a personality
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Randomize
