i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
