I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
she pinky promised me she was 18
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
