Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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