I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
