When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize