Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Randomize
