I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
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