on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
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