Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
