so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
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