I want to walk on stilts...naked
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
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