If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
