At least make sure they are 18
Why
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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