Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Come back. Shots need mouths.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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