i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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