i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
