Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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