Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
