You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
My balls are so social today.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
