After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
