We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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