Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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