how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
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