at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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