"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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