Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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