What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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