Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
