Fuck appropriateness.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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