Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
