So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
