I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
