Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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