Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
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I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
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My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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