you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
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