Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
