Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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