guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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