Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
