I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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