there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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