Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I'm getting married
To pizza
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Randomize
