i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
