i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Randomize
