i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Randomize
