when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Randomize