This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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